Werrej
- 1. He can talk to you about anything, especially difficult things.
- 2. He is always there in difficult times
- 3. He treats women well
- 4. You have common views on the main life issues: family, children, career, money, sex
- 5. He is preparing for a joint future financially.
- 6. He keeps promises
- 7. He is mentally stable
- 8. His ethical and moral values are the same as yours.
- 9. He helps solve your problems.
- 10. He says he loves you and shows it.
Is your chosen one suitable for the role of a husband? To help answer this question, a counseling psychologist has compiled a list of 10 essential qualities for someone who is worthy of becoming your spouse.
I received a marriage proposal last year, and I’m already well over forty. I have been waiting for this for a long time and I am glad that I have to go to the altar with someone whom I truly appreciate. What we women have not experienced: the lack of attention, and the endless problems of a partner, and the promise that we will be together as soon as … [insert the necessary excuse]. I can go on forever. And I’m glad it’s all over.
If you are thinking about getting married, before you say yes, check if your chosen one meets the required set of requirements.
1. He can talk to you about anything, especially difficult things.
If he avoids difficult conversations, forget about him. If you communicate little or do not understand each other well, disappointment cannot be avoided. Life throws us various difficulties, no one wants to go through them alone. You are together to support each other and solve problems together. If your partner does not want to talk about serious topics, discuss it with him, wait a while to see if there will be changes. If he does not change, find someone else — open, mature, balanced. Choose someone who knows that avoiding the problem won’t solve it.
2. He is always there in difficult times
When times get tough, does he fade out of sight, or does he tell you to take a break from each other? Does he leave and come back when things are looking up? This is a clear sign of a problem. If he is not going through hard times with you, he is not ready for marriage.
When an obstacle comes your way, watch its reaction. If you don’t like his behavior, talk about it. How will he react? Will he behave differently when new problems arise? The behavior of people in difficult situations can say a lot about their character.
3. He treats women well
Watch how he treats other women, how he treats his mother or sister. See how kind and respectful he is towards women in general. If you are annoyed by his behavior, this is a warning sign. He will treat you the same way. If it’s not, he pretends.
4. You have common views on the main life issues: family, children, career, money, sex
Yes, there is much to be discussed. But if you want to get married, this conversation cannot be avoided. Do your wishes match? If not, can you come up with a compromise that suits both of you? If he does not want to discuss it or you cannot come to a common decision now, then what will happen next?
It’s hard to think about such things when you love a man. You cannot imagine yourself with another person, but in the future you will be drawn to the life that is destined for you. This moment will inevitably come. If your man does not want or cannot be what you need, look for someone who can.
5. He is preparing for a joint future financially.
If you have a huge fortune or you both agreed that he will stay at home with the child, and you will provide for everyone, there is no problem. Otherwise, he will have to work. Money problems top the list of reasons why couples get divorced.
Of course, now you are crazy in love. But can you both lead the lifestyle you love? Is he getting ready for this? Is it working on it? If not, this is another red flag.
6. He keeps promises
He says «I’ll come» and then doesn’t show up for hours? Or «I’ll pay, don’t worry»? All these are empty promises. He must show both in words and actions that you and your relationship are in the first place for him. Deep down you know the truth, but you don’t want to admit it.
7. He is mentally stable
An obvious point, but sometimes such things elude us. Does he work on himself and try to become the best version of himself? Or does he admit mistakes only in words, but in reality he behaves in the old way? A broken man is not fit for marriage. He must take a firm stand in relation to his life, to himself, to you and to other people. Imagine your man in five or ten years. You don’t want to carry a double burden, do you?
8. His ethical and moral values are the same as yours.
It is not necessary that all your beliefs match one hundred percent. But at least you share his values? Do you agree on issues of morality and ethics? It is very likely that he will not change if he does not want to. You have grown up with a certain set of standards by which you live. As a rule, they cannot be changed. If you have different beliefs and he is not ready to change his, nothing will come of it.
9. He helps solve your problems.
Always, not just from time to time. Does he support you when you need it? Even if you are physically far away, he needs to make sure you are okay. If he doesn’t, your relationship is in trouble. However, do not go too far if he is busy with other obligations, such as work or children. You should be in the top two of his top priorities. If it’s not, don’t marry him.
10. He says he loves you and shows it.
If it’s not, don’t put up with it and don’t make excuses. If he cannot now say three important words and prove it with his actions, imagine what will happen next. People who don’t know how to express their feelings need help to make sense of life. Give him time and space to do so. And then see if you’re right for each other. A woman who does not feel desired is to be pitied.
Getting married is one of the most important decisions in life. In fact, you already know if he is suitable for the role of a husband. It’s up to you to decide. Create the life you want. Love conquers all as long as both of you are ready to continue the journey together.