A couple of days ago, social networks were swept by a wave of another flash mob. Users tell stories of their failures and defeats, accompanying them with the tag #mewasn’t hired. What does all this mean in terms of psychotherapy? Our expert Vladimir Dashevsky is categorical: this is a cry from the soul of offended people, and the flash mob itself is selfish and infantile.
In psychotherapy, the main thing is to listen. If you are not Sherlock Holmes and not Dr. House, if you do not have a third eye and you cannot “look into the soul” and scan thoughts, human eyes and ears and experience will do. People are talking about themselves. Directly, in the forehead, persistently and a lot.
It’s just that they don’t speak with words, but with what is between: reticence, hints, implied. Scientifically, this is called «implication». Any phrase implies something, and communication between people is built with the help of such messages. The same thing happens in texts. Especially in the texts of social networks. Especially on Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia).
For example, if you have read up to these lines, what conclusion would you draw about me as an author? For example, the author is a snob, a nerd and a «nerd» who decided to take a ride on a fried, with a fright decided that he could load readers with a stupid implication, «harnesses for a long time when the flash mob starts.» And so on and so forth. It’s all you read between the lines of text.
Therefore, it is not what people say or write that is interesting, but what they mean by their messages. After all, this is what a person really feels, at the level of the unconscious, something that he cannot control.
Nowadays it is a shame to be unsuccessful. Especially on social media
So, about the flash mob, they #didn’t take me. It’s amazing how quickly he conquered Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia). Incredible infection power! For two days — thousands, tens of thousands of articles, letters, jokes, links, quotes and reposts. I am sure that researchers have already been born who will describe the new laws of social media psychology using the example of people’s behavior in social networks.
What is on the surface and what many have already written about: a flash mob # they didn’t take me — 90% of these are success stories. “Let me not be hired by company X, but now I’m at company Y (“founded my own business” / “warming my belly in Bali”) and in full chocolate.” Let’s call it social hypocrisy.
Nowadays it is a shame to be unsuccessful. Especially on social media. Only the cream of the everyday world is published here. It is attended by journalists, screenwriters, writers, those who are commonly called the creative class. And of course, on the basis of these posts, it is impossible to draw conclusions about the reasons for the failures. There is such a thing — «survivor’s mistake», when, according to the traces of bullets on the fuselage of aircraft returning to base, they try to draw conclusions about the reasons for the low «survivability» of aircraft. Aircraft that have been hit by an engine or gas tank fail and do not return. Nothing is known about them.
Those who #don’t really take part in the flash mob. Either it hurts or there is no time.
The author’s ego absorbs laudatory juices, self-esteem grows, the goal is achieved
Now about what is hidden, about the implication.
The authors’ tears dried up, but the resentment remained. Resentment against those who are #samifools, #didn’t take me beautiful, #bite your elbows, #nuisabogus don’t participate in this. Comments instantly appear under the posts: “let them envy now”, “they are to blame”, “you are cool”. The ego of the authors absorbs laudatory juices, self-esteem grows, the goal is achieved. Moreover, as a rule, the situations are ancient, resentment is childish, and childish resentment is the most offensive.
A lot of resentment. From a small snowball launched two days ago, a lump of repressed grievances is rolling down the mountain of Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia). More and more layers are sticking to it, different media are picking up the baton, now a huge avalanche is sweeping across the Internet, sweeping readers, sweeping away news and other topics. It’s easy, safe and effective. It seems that I am participating in a fun flash mob, and at the same time I am receiving medical treatment.
What an insult, such a flash mob — selfish and infantile. The very wording “I was not taken” suggests that I am an object that someone strong, endowed with power, is free to take or not take. The author automatically assumes the pose of a victim and cannot «in an adult way», consciously look at the situation.
A splash of resentment is good, like the release of pus from a wound. But I prefer to stand aside at this time, so as not to be hurt by the blast wave.
The speed of distribution and the mass nature of the process may indicate that it is effective. I’ve noticed that the biggest social media flash mobs (like the recent #I’m afraid to say) are always psychotherapeutic. As a rule, at the end of the flash mob, narcissistic effects are mixed in here.
It is important to observe this, as we look at a bright light bulb — from under half-closed eyelids, in order to let the words pass by, and focus on what is really happening.