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Biżgħat ġodda fit-tfal, esposti wisq
It-tfal jibżgħu mid-dlam, mil-lupu, mill-ilma, li jitħallew waħedhom... Il-ġenituri jafu bl-amment dawk il-mumenti meta t-tfal żgħar tagħhom jippaniku u jibku tant li jibżgħu. B’mod ġenerali, jafu wkoll jikkalmawhom u jserraħhom. Fl-aħħar snin, qamu biżgħat ġodda fost l-iżgħar. Fl-ibliet il-kbar, it-tfal qed jingħad li huma dejjem aktar esposti għal stampi vjolenti li jbeżżgħuhom. Decryption ma' Saverio Tomasella, tabib fix-xjenzi umani u psikoanalista, awtur ta' “Biżgħat żgħar jew terrorijiet kbar”, ippubblikat minn Leduc.s éditions.
X'inhi l-biża' fit-tfal?
“Waħda mill-aktar avvenimenti sinifikanti li se jesperjenza tifel ta’ 3 snin huwa meta jirritorna l-iskola tan-nursery,” jispjega l-ewwel nett Saverio Tomasella. It-tifel imur minn dinja protetta (mixtla, nanny, omm, nanna...) għal dinja popolata minn ħafna tfal żgħar, regolata minn regoli u restrizzjonijiet stretti. Fil-qosor, jinżel fit-taħwid tal-ħajja kollettiva. Xi drabi esperjenzat bħala "ġungla" reali, l-iskola hija l-ewwel post ta 'l-iskoperti kollha. Xi tfal se jieħdu ftit jew wisq ħin biex jadattaw għal dan l-ambjent ġdid. Xi drabi anke ċerti sitwazzjonijiet se jbeżżgħu tassew lill-ġuvni li jkun qed jieħu l-ewwel passi tiegħu fil-kindergarten. “L-aħjar huwa li l-adulti jkunu viġilanti ħafna matul dan il-perjodu importanti tal-bidu tal-iskola. Tabilħaqq, il-psikoanalista jissottolinja l-fatt li nimponnu fuq it-tfal żgħar biex ikollhom jeħilsu waħedhom, isiru awtonomi, jobdu diversi adulti, isegwu regoli ta’ mġieba tajba, eċċ. “Dawn il-linji gwida kollha ma jagħmlux ħafna sens. lit-tifel ċkejken. Spiss jibża’ li jmur ħażin, li jkun lest, li ma jżommx il-pass, ”jgħid l-ispeċjalista. Jekk it-tifel jista 'jżomm il-kutra tiegħu miegħu, ifarrġah. "Huwa mod għat-tifel biex iserraħ rasu, inkluż billi terda' l-kbir, din il-forma ta 'kuntatt ma' ġismu hija fundamentali", jispeċifika l-psikoanalista.
Biżgħat ġodda li jbeżżgħu lit-tfal
Dr Saverio Tomasella explains that he receives more and more children in consultation who evoke fears linked to new modes of communication in large cities (stations, metro corridors, etc.). “The child is confronted with certain violent images on a daily basis”, denounces the specialist. Indeed, screens or posters stage an advertisement in the form of a video, for example the trailer of a horror film or one comprising scenes of a sexual nature, or of a video game, sometimes violent and above all which is meant to be adults only. “The child is thus confronted with images which do not concern him. Advertisers primarily target adults. But as they are broadcast in a public place, children see them anyway, ”explains the specialist. It would be interesting to understand how it is possible to have a double talk to parents. They are asked to protect their children with parental control software on the home computer, to ensure that they respect the signage of films on television, and in public spaces, “hidden” and not intended images. toddlers are displayed without censorship on city walls. Saverio Tomasella agrees with this analysis. “The child says it clearly: he is really afraid of his images. They are scary for him, ”confirms the specialist. Moreover, the child receives these images without filters. The parent or accompanying adult should discuss this with them. Other fears concern the tragic events in Paris and Nice in recent months. Faced with the horror of the attacks, many families were hit hard. “After the terrorist attacks, televisions broadcast a lot of highly violent images. In some families, the evening television news can take up a fairly large place at mealtimes, in a deliberate desire to “keep informed”. Children living in such families have more nightmares, have less restful sleep, pay less attention in class and sometimes even develop fears about the realities of everyday life. “Each child needs to grow up in an environment that reassures and reassures them,” explains Saverio Tomasella. “Faced with the horror of the attacks, if the child is young, it is better to say as little as possible. Do not give details to the little ones, talk to them simply, do not use vocabulary or violent words, and do not use the word “fear”, for example ”, also recalls the psychoanalyst.
Attitudnijiet tal-ġenituri adattati għall-biża' tat-tifel
Saverio Tomasella huwa kategoriku: “It-tifel jgħix is-sitwazzjoni mingħajr distanza. Pereżempju, posters jew skrins jinsabu f’postijiet pubbliċi, kondiviżi minn kulħadd, adulti u tfal, ‘il bogħod mill-cocoon tal-familja s-serħan il-moħħ. Niftakar tifel ta’ 7 snin li qalli kemm kien jibża’ fil-metro meta ra poster ta’ kamra mitfugħa fid-dlam”, tixhed l-ispeċjalista. Il-ġenituri spiss jistaqsu kif jirreaġixxu. “Jekk it-tifel ikun ra l-istampa, jeħtieġ li titkellem dwarha. L-ewwelnett, l-adult jippermetti lit-tifel jesprimi ruħu, u jiftaħ id-djalogu għall-massimu. Staqsih kif iħoss meta jara din it-tip ta 'immaġni, x'tagħmel lilu. Għidlu u kkonferma li tabilħaqq, għal tifel ta’ l-età tiegħu, huwa pjuttost naturali li jibża’, li jaqbel ma’ dak li jkun qed iħoss. Il-ġenituri jistgħu jżidu li huwa tabilħaqq tedjanti li tkun espost għal dawn it-tipi ta 'immaġini, "jispjega. “Iva, tal-biża’, għandek raġun”: il-psikoanalista jaħseb li wieħed m’għandux joqgħod lura milli jispjegaha hekk. Parir ieħor, mhux bilfors toqgħod fuq is-suġġett, ladarba l-essenzjali jkun intqal, l-adult jista 'jimxi, mingħajr ma jagħti wisq importanza lill-avveniment, sabiex ma dramatizzaw is-sitwazzjoni. "F'dan il-każ, l-adult jista 'jadotta attitudni benevola, li jisma' attent għal dak li ħass it-tifel, għal dak li jaħseb dwarha", tikkonkludi l-psikoanalista.